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Good morning, lovely dreamers! Today marks the first month of freedom from what we think will be our first 2020 lockdown (because a second wave is coming for sure) and it's so unbelievable! Being out in the world is really confusing, scary and sometimes uncomfortable now.
Kind of like being in a game, but without the extra lives.
This whole coronavirus situation and the fact that I turned 30 this year, has hit me kind of hard, to be honest. Our lives have changed from "Oh, we'll just go back to Transylvania for a few months, recharge, get a refresher and go back to Scotland and upgrade our lives" (with better jobs, a new city and all that), to "Are we going to get out of the house this year?"Not to mention all the other madness going on in the world! From the anti-racist movement to Trump's intergalactic stupidity (yes, I blame him for aliens not visiting), and now even JK Rowling set fire to the internet! What is going on, 2020?! What's next!?
Related:1. The Magical Harry Potter & Fantastic Beasts Gift Guide perfect for every witch, wizard and muggle2. 20 Magical Life Lessons you learn from Harry Potter
How's life in your corner of the universe going lately? At what stage are you with this on a scale of Bilbo Baggins?
Source: Memes in the Time of Rona
I'm lucky that I have a wonderful partner in my life that listens to all of my crazy thoughts and helps me sort them out, or else even this blog, as plain as it is sometimes would only be just a dream. BTW, check out what Andy made me for my birthday this year!
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A post shared by 𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕗 𝔹𝕦𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕗𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕤|🦋 (@dreamingofbutterflies) on May 20, 2020 at 7:15am PDT
After a long, long time of reflection, an internal breakdown followed by anxiety and a slight depression (Women, am I right?), this gift from Andy really was the thing that made me realise how stupid I was by thinking life is over at 30.
Life is such a fantastic journey and it doesn't stop at 30. You just level up and get a new expansion upgrade.
And because the last decade, my 20s, was such an adventure, filled with life lessons, especially as a woman, I couldn't' help myself and at least try to share with you the best things I've learned and hope that you, lovely dreamer are a better-prepared butterfly for your 20s decade.
But enough with the chit-chatting! Let's get to it!
10 Important Life Lessons Every Woman should learn in her 20s
From the classic "how to cook", to overcoming the deep dark challenges of finding the right bra for yourself, as a woman in your 20s there are many mistakes to be made (not counting the love life), and plenty to learn. Here's my top 10(+ BONUS).
1. How to accept and embrace yourself
The most important thing you need to master in your 20s as a woman, in my opinion, is accepting yourself inside and out, just as you are. You might be tall, short, skinny, curvy, quirky, geeky, dark and "creepy", it doesn't matter, as long as you LOVE yourself as you are.Since middle school, I was so concerned about being judged for the stuff that I loved, like Harry Potter, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings and even Star Wars, even more than my physical appearance. I felt like such a weirdo, so I mostly hid this part of me for the better part of my adolescence and young adult life.This, and being teased ( and mostly overly concerned if you ask Andy now) about my body shape (because I'm tall and curvy) while every girl I know looks like a beautiful Barbie doll, contributed to my low self-esteem.In time, and with enormous help from my partner in everything, Andy, I've learned to love myself for who I am, from my crazy geeky mind to my curvy wrapping.
But it's not all just what others tell you, it's what you tell yourself.
As an exercise, especially if you're single, take a few minutes per day to look at yourself in the mirror and find 5 things that you like about yourself. Tell yourself what they are, and try to believe!
Think of it this way, if YOU won't love yourself, how the hell do you expect to be loved by anybody else? (to paraphrase the lovely RuPaul)
2. How to be a good housewife
I know, I know, it's not 1920 anymore, it's 2020! Yes, you're probably rolling your eyes at the sight of these words just now, but hear me out. You are not the only one that has to do things around the house, yes, but that doesn't mean that you don't have to know how to cook simple things, or clean (especially when you can DIY cleaning solutions as we do).Unless you're born rich, or marry rich, you won't have someone to do these things for you, and if you want to save some money (especially during these uncertain times) you need to start cutting expenses and DIY-ing as much as you can.
Start small, with simple recipes and simple tasks around the house.
I for one, HATE vacuuming with all my pores, so instead I have an arrangement with Andy: he vacuums, I dust. I cook, he washes the dishes (and vice-versa).
Related:DIY cleaning products for newbies -cheap, easy, natural
3. Know and understand your body
From listening to yourself in regards to how much to eat, drink and exercise and trust every cell in your body, to knowing what you like during the sexy times as well, it's important to keep a close eye on yourself.
What do you like? What don't you like? What are you curious about?
Make sure to take this decade to explore yourself and your fantasies as deeply as you can. If you are fortunate enough to find a partner to share them with, even better! But be open-minded, and don't forget about protection as well - you don't need any surprises while you're exploring.
4. How to find the right bra for yourself
This might sound like the stupidest thing ever, but I had to live until I was 28 to realise why I was in constant pain and discomfort. And it was all simply because I didn't know and didn't care about how to find the right bra for myself.As always during these years if you don't know the answer, guess what? Google knows! And here's the YouTube clip that saved my boobies from constant torture, and why now they sit way more comfortably in the perfect boobie trap!
5. How to take care of yourself
This comes from my fascinations with other religions (even though I'm so far away from being religious, that I'm basically a spawn of Satan, lol) and how they treat the matters of caring, beauty, and love. Apparently, in the Coran, it is stated that a woman should make herself beautiful every 20 days. This includes getting waxed and basically getting something like a spa treatment apparently.
Frankly, this does sound like something any woman should do, but not necessarily for her partner, but for herself.
I myself am going through my quarantine Chewbacca phase, and it's kind of killing me, to be honest.Learn how to put yourself first, even if it's just for one, or two hours during the day. Exercise, take a relaxing bubble bath if you need, wax yourself, massage yourself with body lotion so that you keep that skin tight and hydrated, wear a face mask, or a hair mask once in a while.
6. How to make more from less
As a collector of geeky items myself now, I'll never try and turn anyone into a minimalist, that's for certain. But there's one thing anyone in their 20s, not just us ladies, must learn. How to live with less, and how to make do with less.My mom always was a great example for this: She knew how to turn 2 carrots, 1 potato and an onion and some magical bits into a 2-course meal that was not only delicious but lasted for a couple of days. Also, she taught me to be happy with what I have, and not stress or beat myself up about what I can't/don't have.
Keep it simple.
Instead of buying crap you don't need, or tons of food that may end up being thrown out, or like some crazy people, INSANE amounts of toilet paper for no apparent reason, think before you make any decision like that.Hey, I hate conventional meal-planning as well, but that doesn't mean that I don't make something like a weekly meal menu and shopping lists every week.Look at what you have in your pantry before you make your plans, re-read that shopping list before going out the door, and never EVER go out on an empty stomach. Thank me later.
7. How to understand love
When I turned 20, I got my hands on a book about relationships (I can't remember the name for the life of me, sorry!) that basically helped me understand that if I'm not receiving love from my partner as I do in my mind, in my dreams, that doesn't mean that my partner doesn't love me. Those thoughts are most likely influenced by novels, TV and music videos, anyway.
Everyone expresses themselves differently, and love comes in so many forms and colours that it will take a lifetime to know them all, but it's important to know how to recognise and appreciate the love that you do get.
8. How NOT to listen to the world
Although it's important for yourself and your sanity to surround yourself with people that love and appreciate you, someone that you can rely on, sometimes, even out of love and concern, some people will try to flood your mind with their personal opinions and thoughts in regards for your life, issues and even dreams.What you want to do is to thank that person for their thoughts (even if they are mean comments on social media!) and keep doing what you think it's best for you. You are the only one that knows your dreams, your thoughts and your journey. Do you. #dreamfollowdo!
9. What makes you happy
What makes you smile? What makes your soul happy and warm and tingly? It can be anything from your loved one's smile to your job, or a hobby. Embrace what makes you happy, don't apologise for it and find a way to integrate it in your everyday life. It will help keep your mind sane and your soul happy.I am still in the search for what makes me truly happy professionally, and I hope I will find it soon enough. In the meantime, I have all my books, games, the music and of course, my writing to get me through the day with a smile on my face. The best thing ever now is reading to Andy every night when we go to bed. He's happy that he can hear my voice more (I'm not a very talkative person), and I am thrilled that I can read every day.
Sit down, get a pen and paper and put down everything that makes you smile. What's your happy?
10. What your lifegoals are
I'm talking here about what do you want from your life. A great career? Kids? If yes, how many? To travel the world and learn every language on this Earth (kind of hard to do this one now, I know! :()? Do you want to make the next great scientific discovery?
Whatever it may be, now, in your 20s decade is the perfect time to think, explore and try out stuff.
I've truly made tons of mistakes this past decade but at least I learned what I don't want from life (that's important as well by the way!), and what I do. With all the craziness from the last two years, with my health going up and down like a rollercoaster(more on that later), I know one thing. I want to be happy.This is what I wish for each and every one of you as well. Whatever your lifegoals are please, please, please make sure that they make you happy. Or else, it's just not worth it.
Bonus!
11. Your REAL value
As women, we tend to underappreciate ourselves, A LOT. When you're so used to putting others first, either because you're a mom, a wife, a girlfriend, a bit sister... you kind of lose focus of yourself. But guess what, my lovely? This only adds to your value!
After you break out of that cocoon that was your parents' home, and you embrace independence like a beautiful butterfly, you should learn how to never forget who you really are. Easier said than done, am I right?
I know I've consistently destroyed my confidence and what I thought was my value, for people that didn't know what I was worth until they lost me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, BUT we must break this freaking stupid cycle.Surround yourself with people that appreciate you for who you are and are not afraid to show it. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not good enough, or not pretty enough, or not smart enough. You're just not the right fit for them. Move on!
Aaaaand that's all for today, lovely dreamers! I hope you enjoyed my love letter with the 10+ important life lessons every woman should learn in her 20s, and if you did, don't forget to share it, pin it, tweet it! <3
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